Vagenturecbos's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[MarsQuest]

Ahhh, this reminds me of M.U.L.E. GOd I miss that gameeeee.....

dacaldera responds:

I just looked it up.... talk about retro!

[Sins Of Daisy Episode 1]

You're a young writer, aren't you? ;) Perhaps till in school? I can tell because of the way you structure the sentences. They should show more maturity in terms of grammar and style. And they should be fluid, not forced. try to be more intuitive and varied in how you structure your work. ;) Think about the tone and mood of the moment. The sentence should feel that way, as well as read that way.

Look at it like this:

1. My husband... he is outside.

this sentence is VERY STIFF, NOT ORGANIC, and not how normal people speak. It's too rigid, too perfect. Think about how you would say it, not how the English book tells you to. It sounds like a foreigner with poor English or a robot who doesn't give a damn. either one is bad, unless that's what you are going for here, which I doubt. ;))))

2. My husband's outside. Now get out of my kitchen!
This sentence gives fire, and evidence that the character is actually alive in terms of being a person in the story. It also subtly lets the main character know that the husband is an option, without outright saying it.

See? ;))

ZeroDigitZ responds:

Thanks for the helpful tips. I will try to improve on making my characters more emotionally-driven and less robotic.

[Staircase Ritual]

LoL! good fun! I have a slight dyspriax though, so it was hrad for a minute there.

keybol responds:

was the button too fast at some level?

[Super Gonad Smasher]

Omg too funny! You guys remember the Zeus game where his balls had to jump up platforms on here?. you had to dodge arrows, lol.

PestoForce responds:

I don't remember that game... you have the name?

[Imashi]

nice, very archetypal. But the grammar... eek. Are you a native speaker? you need a bit of help with English Composition, k? ;)

Nittram responds:

In my defense, I was 14 and I'm not a native speaker ahahaha, but thank you anyway :3

[Mysterious Fort Escape 3]

aw this is nice! Fun Farcical Escapism at its finest! But the background sound (waves crashing) was too loud for me. When you make these, can you make it so we can turn off the bgm and sound effects separately? I need to turn off the bgm after a while because I have random? sound sensitivity/overstimulation but the sound effects themselves can stay on a bit longer, I find. ;) Depends on the sounds themselves. ;) I like the setting! nice nad seaside and open!

ainarsa responds:

Hi Radeshtka, thank you, I will separate effects from bgm.

[Tainted Olive - Chapter 2]

this series is loveness. everything EVERYTHING is perfect. don't listen to those idiots who can't tell a good game from a handholding horror. ;)

BlackOlive responds:

Again, thanks. From the start, we knew this was not going to be a widespread phenomenon, but those who enjoy this specific type of game really like it. And hopefully there are some converts along the way :)

[Tainted Olive - Chapter 1]

oh. my. god.

this is like, Scriptwelder, Michael Hibbert and Skutnik married Erril of Sherril and had a holy golden glowing lovechild.

I love you. This is... this is crosshatched hand-drawn heaven. there. aren't. enough. stars. for. this.

when I reach for the spot where my lovely half-baked writing talent used to be, all I find is an empty burn mark. I worked it too hard, and it went to sleep. But you inspire me, nonetheless, to just live in your world. So wonderful, this.

BlackOlive responds:

Thank you. Means a lot to us, it really does.

[Fantasy Land]

.... oh my god are you on a roll with these. I've never been so pleased... with one of yours as I am with these today. so much fun, dude. the apple treasures!!!!! that was a neat idea! do it again!

EscapeFan responds:

Thank you very much, we are happy that you enjoy our games! :)

[The Company of Copperhill]

I like this one much better tan the other oen you tried to do like this! It just is so much more streamline-y! ;) reminds me a tiny bit of... oh what was it.. Sga Frontier? no... Breaht of Fire? no.... oh I can't remember. OH, maybe I'm thinking of Saiyuki: Journey West...

Hyptosis responds:

Thanks! :D